Real Truth About Grinches
Hello I am here to day to tell you the TRUTH about grinches. For those who do not know a 'grinch' or a weregrinch, the later being the weaker more pathetic of the species, is a humanoid creature who lurks in caves and on the internet, spending its days spreading fail where ever to goes, be it by failing to steal a simple Christmas present, or making pointless comments on the internet and being a general annoyance to those around them. This report will look into detail at the main aspects of grinchs and there habits, as well and proper protection against these pointless creatures. Apparence Grinchs stand at around one and a half meters high with thick tangled fur often coated in their own saliva and excrement due to the fact they have poor personal hygiene. There hands are often slightly clawed and webbed (A common sign of incest among their species) and their postures are always slightly hunched over giving them a general 'creeper' feel, much like a paedophile at a play area. Their faces are scrunched up into the centre, giving their small yellow eyes a piggy look while their eyebrows are untamed an unkempt, like a bearded woman at a side show carnival. They lack tails, and they seem to resemble furrys in poorly made fur suits for a rather accurate comparison. Personality Grinches are attention cravers. Not happy living a life of solitude out of the way of decent human beings they take it upon themselves to make themselves a nuisance to others, constantly trying to steal Christmas and acting like an all around idiot, bragging about their own talents while in reality they have none. Some people try to describe them as sneeky, making references to them being like a sly fox, when in reality people just don't pay an interest to these pathetic creatures and thus don't take notice of them when they enter a room, leading to much butt hurt from said grinch. They will often make up fantasy worlds within their own brains to compensate for the lack of friends/anything of worth in their life, coming up with their own friends, even making 'gangs' to try and seem cool amoung their peers. They also have the creepy habit of acting like young children despite even if their rather old, say in their late thirties. Diat Babies. Lots and lots of human babies. And kittens. Hundreds upon hundreds of kittens. Young Their young are weak and stupid, often getting themselves killed within the first few days of hatching (they are laid out of the anus in large green hair eggs, often called 'butt eggs' ) and have a habit of being sat on by their own parents, resulting in brain damage. To dispose of the young a swift kick to the face is recommended as their jaws and muzzles are weak at this stage in development and a sharp jolt t the area will collapse the skull, killing them in an easy effective manner. intellect ' None. '''grooming ' None 'hunting ' To dumb to hunt, simply creep around like paedophiles and snatch up small children from their gardens to devour them. Same with the kittens. '''Powers None. Apart from being made of epic fail and able to make people vomit in their mouths upon seeing these rancid creatures. How to get rid of a grinch/weregrinch These creatures have every little intelligence though they like to use long words to make themselves feel bigger, some scientists have found out that by pretending to be smart, its gives the creatures a feeling which resembles sexual bliss, thinking they are better then others and deluding themselves to grandeur. They seem to not be able to grasp exactly how shit they are at well….everything, so simply pointing these things out to them will not work. You must SHOW them the error of their ways, or simply take itme out of your day to explain to them that noone cares about their bitching (these creatures are very emo after all, and like to baww about everyone and everything). Pointing out the fact noone cares will often resort in them getting hostile, which doesn't matter all that much since they are very weak, but this can cause great amusement so it is advised 8D The best thing to do if you see a grinch.weregrinch is simply kill it. Any method is fine, though humane methods are often costly so simply beating it to death with a sharp stick is perfectly exactable, these creatures have not pain receptors (or brain cells) anyway so in reality it doesn't matter how you dispose of them, as long as you do. This is an educational document brought to you to tell you the real facts behind weregrinchs/ grinches. If you have any questions then please contact me as I am a world renowned scientist in grincholagy after all, the best in my field.